It has been a few since I wrote last and a lot has changed and a lot has stayed the same. Me and my family moved into my husbands mom's house which is turning out to be wonderful for the kids. I am still on chemo and still have no hair. I started giving myself shots 2 weeks ago and go back for another treatment on the 22nd where they will take my blood and see if I need to do more shots to improve my white blood cell count. I am so tired of being tired which I am sure every one doing chemo can relate to. I am still in school and learning how to stick people which I am actually loving.
Emotionally I am all over the place. Some days I just don't want to do it any more, don't want to get out of bed and don't want to talk or see any one.
I hope I am ok enough to stop doing the shot because they are scary...... The 3rd night of taking them I took a pain med because they put me into a lot of pain and i went to bed. Around 9 I got up and went out side for what I told my husband was some air. I walked across the street to the park sat on a swing and then with in minutes I had no idea where I was. An hour later my husband found me after driving around for ever looking for me. I had asked a man walking down the street if he knew where I lived, of course he didn't even know who I was much less where I lived. It's scary to not know where or even who you are. The shots also made my anxiety go threw the roof. All some one had to do was talk to me about any thing that made me nervous or uncomfy and I would shake uncontrollably.
I was told about this drug who has helped people with stage 4 cancer. I am going to talk to my doctor about it because I am under the impression it is for people with lung cancer but we will see. Down side the major side effect is death. I will know more about where I will be after this round of chemo because I had 3 ct's down last Monday and will know the results on the 22nd.
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